this n that

aisya @ 5 mnths

sofea @ 6 mnths

sibuk la sgt2 mama ni lately...

aisya so far dah makin nmpak ke'kakak'annya.. pandai nak tepuk adik, adik muak nak lapkan, adik poopoo tlg kasitau mama, susu adik nak tolong pegangkan, n sgt takut kalau strangers nak amik/dukung adik.. jeritnya punyalah kuat!!

major progress, bercakap.. huhu smpai mama n nenek dah lenguh mulut la nak layan die.. tanye ape saja, 90% pasti reply.. jumpe siapa aje [perempuan je] semua dipanggil "aaatiee"[aunty].. nak pujuk papa supaya kasik benda yg die nak, dia ckp "papa peeaasee [please]".. kalau buat salah, "mama oweee [sorry]"..

script wajib tiap2 kali mama balik keje " mama acha nak weeet" [sweet = gula2, biskut, chocolate]. tp sejak nak dkt raya ni, sbb mama slalu bwk balik biskut raya dr opis, aisya mintak "mama nak guku" maksudnye die nak muruku!!! hahaha gelak guling ngan nenek sbb mane la plak die dgr or sebut muruku tuh..



adik the molat2, sofea the bombom.. die dah lama menyusur 100km/h, merata rumah dah round.. blom merangkak tp position merangkak tu dah pandai buat, bila nak move je woops trus slide/nyusur balik.. mungkin sbb ke'debab'an yg melanda tu kot.. hahah

adik sgt geram ngan kakak, not sure why.. tp bila dgr suara kakak trus tak nak tido, bdn lonjak2 nak main, kakak dtg dekat nak tarik rambut.. apakah?? tp kakak sekali pun tak pernah balas kat adik.. rasanya adik ni nak main sgt2 ngan kakak ni..


oh ye dari 17/8/2010 - 20/8/2010, adik was admitted @ DEMC due to infantile asthm.. kena neb n fisio nak cairkan kahak.. tp adik x nangis, muka cook giler, agaknye die rasa lega bila dpt neb tuh.. anyhow, adik punye eczema ni dah smpai sangkut ke asthma, so bnyk benda yg mama kena extra jaga.. prevention is better than cure kata paed tu.. ok doc!! sepanjang tempoh tu, mama la yg jaga adik kat spital, nasib bilik canggih.. maklumla DEMC building baru..

tak sabar nak tunggu papa habis course, tak sangka dgn kuasa Allah dah 6 bulan mama bertahan tanpa papa disisi setiap masa, nasib ada weekends yg papa bleh balik.. chaiyokk mama!! - kasik semangat kat diri sendiri la kan...

lama betul terbabas

telah lama tempat perkongsian cerita kami ini tertinggal terbiar, mungkin kerana saya ketandusan ilham untuk mencoret liku-liku hidup sebagai papa & suami, jarak fizikalku dari yang tersayang benar2 mengosongkan jiwaku.

isteri kesayanganku pula, tabah brani lebih2 lagi dalam bulan Ramadhan ini, terlalu tinggi pergorbanannya, memikul beban, menjadi mama & papa pada masa yang sama kepada kedua puteriku, hanya antara dirinya & yang Maha Esa mengetahui dugaannya, 6 bulan tanpa suami di sisi.

5 minggu lagi sayang, berjauhan darimu selama ini membuatku lebih mengenali diri, dan menguatkan peganganku bahawa engkaulah satu2nya buatku.

nukilan ikhlas seorang suami yang merindui isterinya dalam kelas undang2, mujur ade QWERTY keyboard = )

ANAKKU ON BOARD

syukur sgt pd Allah sbb sy masih lagi bnafas, masih lagi ada kekuatan utk trus tabah besarkan anak2 tanpa suami disisi.. demi Allah, bukan senang nak handle anak2 kecik sendiri, mandikan, susukan, suapkan makan, tidorkan, hiburkan, keluar beli keperluan - susu, diapers, bwk utk imunisasi... semua sendiri, sgt2 penat smpai takde masa utk diri sendiri, mkn minum tak teratur.. nasibla parents ade nearby, kalau tak Allah je yg tau ape akan jd..

utk semua ni, sy tetap bahagia sbb sy tau Allah maha kaya, maha adil.. sentiasa doa supaya anak2 sentiasa sihat, dipelihara n dilindungiNya..

bila tgk balik entries yg lama2, kami sgt rajin update ttg progress aisya, utk adik, sgtlaa kurang.. bukan tak nak, tp masa sgt terhad, photographer [papa] pun jarang di rumah.. collection gmbar pun kurang.. kesian kat adikk.. tapi mama cuba jugak utk note benda2 penting yg adik experience..

• adik n aisya dihantar di nursery yg sama since mama mula kerja, bila bibik dah ade, aisya saja yg pi school, adik di rumah, mama jaga dgn bantuan bibik yg sgt jarang bantunye.. sempat la adik duk nursery 1 bln setengah..
  
• genap 3 bulan 10 hari, adik meniarap dgn jayanye.. skrg dah angkat buntut utk maju ke depan plak..
• mama dpt BF adik smpai 4 bulan je, sbb susu makin kurang - direct BF hanya waktu malam, yg lain semua EBM, kurang stimulation = kurang susu.. ade cuba kasik waktu mlm smpai skrg, tp adik sgt marah sbb susu lmbat keluar..
• adik mula dgn susu NAN PRO 1 nestle, tp muka n badan gatal teruk, eczema sama kakak rupanye.. so ISOMIL la jawabnye, lepas sebulan consume ISOMIL, adik susah poopoo, so mama decided to switch to MAMEX, jenama je lain tp masih soy-based.. nmpak ade perubahan, tiap2 hari poopoo tp tak bnyk mcm masa adik minum BM [breastmilk]
• adik sgt suka kakak duk dkt die, walaupun kakak tu kdang2 kasar cara mainnye, adik tetap gelak dekah2.. ntah ape yg lawak sgt, mama pun tak faham.. tgk diorang main berdua, bleh menitik air mata, kuasa Tuhan, perbualan tanpa perkataan tp dua2 bleh gelak sama2.. miracle
• aisya dulu kami tak cukur pun rambutnye, tp adik, sejak mama tgk die 'cukur bantal' [rambut gugur di blkg kepala je], mama dgn yakinnye cukur sampai botak rambut adik tu.. theeheehehee
• dlm kereta, kakak akan duk depan, adik ngan carseat kat belakang, ape2 pun kakak tetap MAAM besar..

utk papa, sentiasa doa supaya mama diberi kekuatan n kesihatan yg baik utk terus jaga baby2 geniuses ni okehh.. lebiyu papa, lebiyu kids!!

My Darling Aisya

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3 months in, 4 to go

Hello family & friends,

This is would be slightly cliché to say the least, but I've been preoccupied with work, my course I mean. In the past 3 months, I've been fully engaged and overwhelmed with a 15 - 16 hours day of training, excruciating and exhausting and I'm not exaggerating.

Everyday is a learning experience, and I've gone through a week's training at the police and fire fighter's each, up next would be to the army, march on soldier :p

The most valuable lesson thus far would be, you get to realize how important your family is, the one thing that's in front of you all these while, yet something you often take for granted, one that you ought to appreciate and cherish more, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

To my wife, you're just smashing, an inspirational women, with rock solid will, because in this difficult time, with a new baby in hand, you rough it through, even though sometimes I know you shed tears in the obstacles you face, and for these reasons I love you.

To my gurls, aisya and sofea, i love you, there's no two ways about it.

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early morning daze

Its 1.40 a.m. sleepy yet the eyes are not co-operating, haven't had time to blog and i'm having economics classes tomorrow, a definite no no for a TESL student!

what little time i have, i wanna say i miss my gurls!


p/s: mommy dearest, we need new together pics!

muaks

lagi aisya sofea

aisya ckp "adik shoffeaa!" [dlm gmbr - adik sebelum kena lepuk ngan si kakak]

tgk!! sy dah leh angkat kepala dgn stabil!! *winkwink*

kesian kat sofea sbb naik rashes bnyk sgt kat muka.. plus mama yg tak sedar diri main bantai makan keropok lekor baru2 ni, buatkan sofea jadi gatal2 jugak.. aduhai, kalau breastfeed bby ni takleh selfish sbnrnye.. sbb nnt yg sakit bukan kite sorang, bby yg tak bersalah tu pun kena gak..


review pasal smlm sket;

• mama bwk aisya ke klinik UMRA utk jab, dah siap daftar sume, tgh tunggu turn tetiba letrik padam - boleh?? agak lama dlm 15 mins gak bergelap, end up mama ajak aisya chow.. [x kena cucuk lagi.. tsk]
  
• ke mana?? hehe giant sec 13, aisya needs a hair cut! pi kedai gunting RM12.. geram sgt tgk rmbut aisya yg jarang n kembang2 tp lembut.. haha [potong depan n blakang je]
• nak upload gmbar terbaru aisya version rambut kemas takleh sbb, nak snap skali pun susah; die tak diamm..
• haaa, gmbar kat atas tu pandangan sisi aisya n the new hair cut - muka dah mcm anime (kartun jepun) kahkah mama gelak guling2 sbb x tahan tgk anak sendiri comel n cerdikk sggtt!!
  

things i miss

The alarm that loyally rings,
the soothing morning glim,
your calming breath,
reasons i wake,
things i miss.

coffee and toast scented room,
starched shirts and morning paper,
a kiss on my cheek,
reasons i work on,
things i miss.

hearty laughters and angelic voices,
leg hugers and little jesters,
pureness naiveness that naturally exudes,
reasons i stay awake,
things i miss.

the sunday car ride,
messy cabin & merry passengers,
a woman and two much younger ones,
reasons i live
things i miss.

penned in class,
missing you
xoxo

aisya sofea

aisya yg kepenatan n trlena.. [semenjak ade bouncer adik nih, die yg lebihnye..]

adik pd masa sama tido dlm cot [beralah ngan kakak]

padahal punyela tak muat, nak duk jugak kat bouncer..

since dua2 munchkin ni tidur, mama snap few pics anak2 - saje nak letak kat blog.. tunggang terbalik bila org buta IT nih buat.. *kehkeh* asalkan nmpak gmbarnye sudaaa!!!

sejak papa pi kursus ni, xde sape la yg rajin nak letak n adjust gmbar2 utk di'save'kan dlm komp.. bila mama cuba buat, haaa mcm ni la jadinye.. yg penting cuba kan?kan?

language acquisition

Aisya dah nak pandai ckp, i mean dah mula keluarkan perkataan yg ada maksud.. e.g 'kakak', 'bi'[bibik], 'nene'[nenek], 'tade'[tidak], 'ho'[hot]... hari ni dgn berjayanye die sebut 'HOT'.. ceritanye camni, masa mama sibuk nak mandikan Sofea td, mcm biasa ade air panas letak dalam besen mandi tu, Aisya dgn sgt pantas celup tangan die, trus tarik kuar balik, tgk muka mama pastu jeritt HHOTTT!!! brilliant luv!!

a visit to paediatrician

main purpose pi specialist ni sbb mama was instructed by the doctor [DEMC] due to sofea nye fever tak surut2 since last sunday.. plus, ade rashes naik kat area mulut, bdn sket n paling bynk kat kaki.. DEMC prescribed paracetamol n calamine lotion utk Sofea..

jd hari ni, mama bwk [nenek hantarkan] 2 princesses ni ke Pakar Kanak2 Adek [section 9, shah alam].. utk Aisya, request utk 15 months punye jab [since tak pi pun ngan papa last weekend kan ;[ ], whereas Sofea, utk buat thorough checkup due to this rashes symptom n fever..

langkah masuk to the paed's room, huhu sgtla comfy, sgtla bby friendly.. tak mcm all those clinics yg ade meja doctor, pastu kerusi, n katil utk treat patients.. yg ni, bilik cam living room, ade sofa set n meja [atas meja penuh ngan toys], of course ade gak patients' bed yg dikelilingi mcm2 jenis anak patung! paed ade kerusi sendiri n study table sendiri.. secara psychology, budak2 cam aisya ni takde la takut sgt bila such environment applied kan?

Aisya check dulu - tempreture ok, lung ok, tp bile paed tgk kulit kat tangan, kaki, belakang badan, trus dia refused nak kasik 15 months jab tu.. mama kena marah sket arr sbb biar aisya nye eczema melarat cenggitu.. [bukan tak pernah sapu ubat, dah mcm krim tukar, semuanye kejap2 je efeknye, smpai fed-up]. paed ckp we need to cure this eczema first, so that Aisya can sleep well every nite without garu2 n nangis2.. dah ok nnt, then we need to come back for the jab.. what izit to do with jab n eczema nih? some doses ade telur, takut Aisya allergic plak..

Sofea's turn. paed ckp bila rashes dah keluar bnyk mcm ni, by rite, fever die akan kurang.. @ the moment, paed suspect ni viral symptom.. acc to him, Sofea masih active, lung ok, minum susu pun ok, kencing berak pun ok.. tp we were advised to do a follow up session on coming thursday, if demam masih ade.. kalau ade, maksudnye, Sofea perlu diambil darahnye.. ADOYAII, ni yg tak gemar sesgt nih!! moga2 baikla lil Sofea nih..

AISYA weighs 10.5kg SOFEA 4kg

Bill for both kids RM144 [erkk!@#$], nasib la mama puas hati ngan consultation paed tu.. takpela AISYA SOFEA, mama keje pun utk kamu berdua jugak.. sayang mama, muchup2!!

quote of the day

a leader is a dealer of hope
napolean bonaparte

if i could...

there was a session with Dr. Abu Bakar Sarpon an INTAN lecturer,

i was attracted to one of the slides:-

Menjadi suluh dalam gelita
Menjadi penawar penolak bisa
Menjadi penenang dalam duka
Menjadi penyejuk dalam derita
Menjadi penyabar dalam murka

(Tenas Effandy 2000)

sure sejuk hati isteri if i can be a husband with such quality,

let's try.

2.15 a.m.

not asleep yet, thinking of wife sayang, cheeky aisya, and lovely sofea.

11 days into the course i think i'm on the verge of insanity, 28 weeks to go, i hope my will is strong.

my day starts at 6.00 in the morning and ends around 2.30 in the morning, this is my life. but i know rynn is struggling and toughing it through daily, during this confinement period, i can only imagine what its like. here i just need to make sure i survive through each day, while wifey has to think of aisya and sofea, and i know sometimes u ignore your own needs sayang.

i feel guilty, everyday, each time i think of you and the girls.

i couldn't hope for anyone as understanding as you are, nor will i ever find someone who loves me as much.

i just want you to know that you are my beacon of hope, the light at the end of the tunnel for me, without you i'm lost.

away from home

this would be the 8th day i'm away from my wife, two girls and home.

i'm both sad and guilty not being around when you need me most sayang. if i had a magic wand to change how things are, i would. 29 more weeks to go and i sometimes wonder how longer i'll last not being with you.

the air is less sweet, the sun less rosier, everything is just not rite, being away from you.

i miss every inch of you, your smile, scent, your presence. I miss you!


ill write soon,
XOXO

emotionally depressed

i safely delivered SOFEA MYSARA[3.55kg] @ 3.55am on 27/2/2010. me and hubby went to KPJ Selangor Specialist around 11.++pm, informed by midwife that i've dilated almost 5cm!! haha sendiri terkejut sbb no major signs of labour detected, cuma sakit kat pelvic tu since 3rd trimester nih..

so dr pkul 12am mcm tu smpai pkul 4.30am, we [me n ridz] were in the labour room.. waiting patiently for this lil' precious keluar.. alhamdulilah, no epidural only GAS(ENTONOX)taken to relieve my labour pain.. [sakit tetap sakit u'olls; bersalin maa].. but seriously, kali ni mcm rasa putus asa nak bersalin normal sbb x daya nak push.. alhamdulilah, lepas 3 kali [dgn midwife nye support, gynae, ridz kat sebelah lg] berjaya jugak keluar bby ni.. LEGAAAAAAAA

well, i'm not emotionally depressed due to the above story, i juz feel i can't cope with all the 'things' after delivery nih.. as ridz is not around, doing the DPA thingy [nasib bleh calling2, kurang la sket stress tu], aisya yg sedang membesar dgn sgt lasaknye - sesaat tak diam, smpai semua org penat layan die, dgn pantang lagi.. nasibla mama & ayah ada at shah alam jugak, kalau tak, mau terjebak dgn POST NATAL DEPRESSION! huhu

tp jujurnya, i really2 need my husband rite now.. kesian kat parents sbb kena tlg uruskan kami anak beranak.. diorang pun bukan larat sgt..

pantang kali ni, x brapa manja mcm masa lahirkan AISYA - masa tu semua benda ade je org tlg buat, amik itu, amik ini, etc,etc...

urmm nnt la smbung entry ni, nak BF sofea.. daaa!!!

Ms. Personality

lil munchkin, like a rainbow, you awe me always.
i'm gonna be away (for a while) now,
look over mommy and lil sis(soon),
its gonna be a long 6 months away for me,
but i know you're gonna zoom through it,
i hope you wont forget my face by then, princess.

with love,
papa

aisya hospitalized

salam peeps,

Aisya is currently warded at KPJ Selangor Specialist Hospital (formerly Selangor Medical Center) in Sec. 20 S. Alam.

After a week of on and off fever, diarrhea and recent bout vomiting, we decided to try this hospital instead of our regular DEMC. Its really a challenge caring for a sick baby at home because you are almost clueless as what should be done because babies aren't able to tell you whats wrong with them, and you sometimes cant really figure if ur really attending to their needs.

So we met a new paediatrician, Dr. Yasmin, found her pleasing and comforting enough to consult us, and she recommended aisya to be warded for observation. Took a blood test, and it pains you to see you darling child screaming her lungs off, rasa nak nangis tengok.

Blood test showed some kind of viral infection, this would be the second time she's warded for this thingy, hmmm zaman kite besar dulu jarangkan dengar viral fever ni?

So, setelah lenguh2 badan duduk kat ward, i pun turun ke dai mamak update blog guna HP ni, susah jugak tulah ayat sedikit meracau, anyway aisya's getting better and she's at ward 3A, room 344 if u happen to be around here, just drop by =).

Tats all folks, trala

it's almost time

i think it's gonna be anytime soon, you guys know what i'm talking about..

any day now, pray the best for us, will update soon!

heavy headed

my head feels heavy and so does my heart,

its confirmed, the letter is on its way, i've been called on to my compulsory six months course, i'm gonna leave on the first of March with a heavy heart.

just so if u are wondering where i'm going, its off to the National Institute of Public Administration, to attain a Diploma in Public Admin, a prerequisite to attain confirmation as an Administrative & Diplomatic Officer.

the thing is, wifey is gonna deliver soon, and i won't be around during the confinement period, and by the time i get back, dear baby will be 7 months old, and she's not gonna recognize me, huhuhu :***( . i know i'm being melodramatic here, but geesh its gonna be quite sometime away from my loved ones, because i wont have the pleasure of coming home on weekends.

i dunnolah, people like to say that when the going gets tough, the tough gets going, i feel weak i my stomach right now and i'm no tough guy.

pening.

we've been off the grid!

Salam and hello family and friends!

Dah lama betul saya tak update blog or login facebook, adakah saya busy? Yes, period.

To my unmarried friends, enjoy what little time you have to spare while you can, before you tie the knot because marriage dear friends, consumes you, in a good way of course. Married with kid(s), equals a juggling act of work and family, and once in a while you'll be like me falling off the grid, almost failing to find enough time to do unessential stuff like keeping track of friends, going to movies, even going for my cuppas with wifey. It's rewarding nonetheless, to come home to your 1 year old cute-as-a-cupcake daughter impersonating her pregnant mother's way of walking, a definite stress buster.

A quick update on how we're coping:-

• Wifey sayang's EDD (Expected Due Date for the clueless) is around 27th Feb, but we and the doctor are expecting it to be around 7 to 9 days from now, so Insyaallah by the 13th, there will be good news peeps.
• Aisya has been such an angel, a blessing, making life so much rosier. Presently, she hums in the morning while stretching in bed and when she's watching Play House Disney, she dances to the music, she no longer walks but runs, climbing up and down the stair is second nature, and banyak lagi. It's so amazing how fast babies grow up and sometimes you just lose track of what they can do. One last thing, i think she's gonna speak soon.
• I'm really excited for our second baby, rynn has been so strong, toughing herself each day to go to work even though on days when it is physically not durable for her to do so.
• I'm very nervous at the moment, because i might be called away for a 6 months course any time now. Its a prerequisite course for me to attain confirmation for my current job, so that's a long time to be away from home, especially since there's gonna be two babies now instead of one.
• I've been thinking everyday about this course, in traffic jams, before going to bed, i have no idea how my sayang is gonna go through it, i'm hoping for the best, and deep down inside i know my wife is a women made of titanium =).

cheerio, have a nice day!